When it comes to going back to school, how parents respond and react is paramount to students’ success. 

Returning to school can be both exciting and scary for parents and children; a healthy approach with clear communication and planning is fundamental to students’ adjustment, and being equipped to respond to their emotional needs is key. 

A caregiver’s response and reaction can set the tone for a healthy adjustment. An anxious reaction/response can unintentionally inhibit them from learning healthy coping skills. A prepared and confident approach can alleviate some of the stress parents feel when their child is sad to separate from their caregiver and go to school. 

There are a few things that a caregiver can do that can lead to healthy emotional development and a more safe and secure bond.

The Child Mind Institute offers some helpful “Do’s and Dont’s” for parents:

DO get back into a routine. Summer can be a nice break from setting an alarm clock. Families often get to enjoy late nights without the pressure of school. Setting clear expectations for bedtime and creating a routine in the evenings and mornings will help set the tone for a smoother transition. Additionally, monitoring screen time is vital to healthy sleep. Cutting off ALL screens an hour before bed helps to create necessary “downtime,” which enables them to fall asleep on their own more easily. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends the following for sleep:

• Toddlers (1–2 years): 11–14 hours (including naps)
• Preschoolers (3–5 years): 10–13 hours (including naps)
• School-age (6–12 years): 9–12 hours
• Teens (13–18 years): 8–10 hours 

DON’T forget to refuel. While summer nights might involve late night ice cream and popcorn snacks, we know that kids need a balanced nutritious diet to help their brains develop and work to their full potential. Eating a nutritious breakfast, lunch, and dinner fuels them for the day. An overtired and hungry child is less likely to perform well than a child with good sleep and a well-balanced diet. 

DO talk about changing friendships. Although many of our students have known each other for years, it is important to remember that they are all growing and developing into new versions of themselves each year. Remind them that relationships can be complicated and that healthy communication is key to working through tough situations. Creating a space for them to talk to you and saying “I hear you and recognize this is difficult” without trying to “fix” their problems or judge them/their peers builds trust and validates their experience. 

DON’T share your anxieties. Parents can often worry about their children’s social lives and an anxious child may feel shame if they feel they aren’t meeting their parents’ expectations. It’s important to try to ask neutral questions. Instead of asking “did you make any friends today,” you might ask “How was your day” or “Tell me three things that you did/didn’t like about your day.” Doing this during calm moments and free from distractions can be most effective. 

DO have a trial run. Review the routines of the day with your child while explaining the importance of flexibility. Have them imagine what it’s like to be at school. Remind them that transitions can be difficult but they are an inevitable part of every day. 

DON’T be afraid of setbacks. Remind your child that there will be ups and downs throughout the year. Even if they have grown and matured over the summer, there are bound to be more challenges. The most successful adults learned how to navigate disappointments and manage their emotions from a young age. Teaching them these life skills leads to more contentment and healthier relationships throughout their lives. 

DO help manage their commitments and time. There are so many temptations for parents to overcommit children to extracurricular activities. This is often associated with a fear that they will fall behind. Oftentimes students become overwhelmed with their outside activities and procrastinate and fall behind in school. Remember to set reasonable expectations and have them practice balance in their own lives. Modeling this behavior will also help them to learn to say “no” when necessary. 

DON’T ignore problems. If you notice that your child is struggling at school and are concerned about them, please reach out- the sooner the better as early intervention can be crucial in helping them healthily cope with their problem. 

While these “do’s and don’ts” will not solve all parenting woes, they can be helpful in the overall healthy development of students.